Posted 9 minutes ago
  1. DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
  2. Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
  3. DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
  4. Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
  5. DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
  6. Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
  7. DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
  8. Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
  9. DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
  10. Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
  11. DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
  12. Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
  13. DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
  14. Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
  15. DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
  16. Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
  17. DC: Wait-
  18. Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
  19. DC: I didn't-
  20. Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
  21. Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
  22. Marvel: PEACE
Posted 2 hours ago

are you fucking kidding me

mayarashi:

zanetheaiden:

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Heh, I play the cello, I’ll bet this is an interesting article.

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tru

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Jesus fucking christ dont get me started on moving the damn thing

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Pretty much…

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They cause die

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Yeah thats

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Me. Thats me.

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Motherfucker you wanna play

(x)

i have to wonder if it would have just been best to not tell you about the article lol

Posted 5 hours ago

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

(Source: atheismblog)

Posted 5 hours ago

because why not (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

  1. Zero - Who was your last text from?
  2. One - What/who is your icon?
  3. Two- Your relationship status?
  4. Three - Have you ever lost a close friend?
  5. Four - What is your current mood?
  6. Five - What’s your brother(s)/sister(s)names?
  7. Six - Where do you wish you were right now?
  8. Seven - Have a crazy side?
  9. Eight - Ever had a near death experience?
  10. Nine- Something you do a lot?
  11. Ten - Angry at anyone?
  12. Eleven - What’s stopping you from going for the person you like ?
  13. Twelve - When was the last time you cried?
  14. Thirteen- What are you really good at ?
  15. Fourteen - What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
  16. Fifteen- What were you doing yesterday at 10pm?
  17. Sixteen - Do you prefer light or dark hair on the opposite sex ?
  18. Seventeen - Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
  19. Eighteen - What is/are your favorite band(s)? .
  20. Nineteen - What are you doing right now?
  21. Twenty - Who do you trust 100% right now?
  22. Twenty one - Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
  23. Twenty two - Heavy metal music?
  24. Twenty three- Who Was the last person you hugged.
  25. Twenty four- Is there anything you’re hiding from someone?
  26. Twenty five - Who are you thinking of right now?
  27. Twenty six - What should you be doing right now?
  28. Twenty seven - What are you listening to?
  29. Twenty eight - You need new jeans. Quick where do you go?
  30. Twenty nine - Who was the last person who yelled at you?
  31. Thirty - Do you act differently around the person you like?
  32. Thirty one - What is your eye colour?
  33. Thirty two - Who was the last person to make you laugh?
  34. Thirty three - Who was the last person to make you angry?
  35. Thirty four - Hello Kitty or dora?
  36. Thirty five - Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
  37. Thirty six - Hug anyone of opposite sex in past 24 hours?
  38. Thirty seven - One thing you want right now?
  39. Thirty eight - Will you fall in love in the next few months?
  40. Thirty nine - What does the 5th text in your inbox say?
  41. Forty - Are you worried about the future?
  42. Forty one - Are you happy with life right now?
  43. Forty two - Are you currently jealous?
  44. Forty three – Who's your best guy friend?
  45. Forty four -Do you forgive or forget?
  46. Forty five - What do you miss the most about elementary school?
  47. Forty six - Favorite Disney Channel show ?
  48. Forty seven – Who’s 3 of your best girl friends?
  49. Forty Eight - What are you looking forward to?
  50. Forty nine - Does anyone like you right now?
  51. Fifty- Lyrics to the song you’re listening to?
Posted 5 hours ago

domericbolton:

last night my father said “good night mario” because i had been driving him around today and apparently going too fast, like the car racer mario andretti

but i didn’t know what he was talking about so i just sleepily replied “good night luigi”

Posted 6 hours ago

But we’re going to have a new code

Say it, Christopher. For your daughter, Allison

(Source: maliatae)

Posted 6 hours ago

sextective:

i like raw selfies. i like looking at pictures where you can see all the details in your face and when you have used hardly any touch ups at all. i like looking at faces that have traces from the sun. faces that look worn but still healthy. i get freckles on my lips in the summer. i really like that.

Posted 6 hours ago

"College as explained to me in high school" vs. "College as experienced firsthand"

  1. In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
  2. Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
  3. In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
  4. Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
  5. In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
  6. Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
  7. In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
  8. Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
  9. In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
  10. Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.
Posted 6 hours ago

bravodelta9:

bromancing-the-stone:

itsmichaeldoan:

OMG I want the Squirtle tank top! 

BULBASAUR

All of these

(Source: puff-to-tuff)

Posted 9 hours ago

zeloswildeer:

blushyarmin:

lordofthescience:

royaltyspeaking:

How to tell if it was a gunshot or fireworks: gunshots don’t echo, fireworks do. 

thaNK YOU SO MUCH

the fact that anyone might commonly need to know this terrifies me

clearly you’re not from america